This day of reflection on my life and the life of my own father I settle on the love that has never changed. Each man, in his own way, loves his children and the spouse that has borne those children. Regardless of what else may have transpired, those children are a reflection of our lives and that of an eternal father. Our children are a part of each of us, throughout our life on earth – and the life that is to come.
I am looking forward to the birth of the first grandchild that I will come to know. He will be a strong link in the chain of this eternal family. Together with my dear wife, we will have an opportunity to demonstrate our love and support to his parents, and to the foundation of his upbringing. We do this as we are asked to assist. We do this by example. We do this because we truly love those that have given us joy in our/their posterity.
Fortunately, we are able to look back on our own mistakes as parents. We have the ability to make personal corrections to our lives that define who we have become. We learn not to let our struggles become our identity.
There are enumerable manuals on how to become men. But, in life, there are no certainties. There is no magical method for assuring achievements that will provide our children with peace and prosperity. Maybe there shouldn’t be. For without the struggles of life, no matter how tough; no matter how base; and, no matter how overwhelming, we would not be able to know the joy of overcoming. Permitting us to assist, when asked, in overcoming our children’s adversity.
I now have a spouse that sees me as I see her. She is as crazy in love with me as I am in her. The measure of that love was captured in a phrase I heard from another; “I finally found someone more in love with me than I am”. In that love she has shared her heart, soul, mind body and spirit. She shares with me the family, and children, that are the best part of my life.
This day, this Father’s Day, I remember the man that her father was… His passing this past month left a hole in our lives. My own father is now battling colon cancer. My dear friend prostate cancer. And, another dear father his immunities have been lost to medical mistakes.
Bless them all. May their lives be rich with the knowledge of who their children have turned out to be. May I be the kind of friend that they need. May I be the kind of parent that is able to assist when needed, and remain apart when required.
I love all my children. Near and far. Those whose lives are as they have chosen. Those of whom remain distanced as they chose another path. I can hold no ill will. For if I had not let them go, my life would not be the blessing that it is now. I would not have an expansion of the family that is so dear to me. I would not have been blessed in being asked to conduct the funeral for my wife’s family in their time of need.
A Father’s heart is ALWAYS turned to his children’s welfare and benefit. No matter their age. No matter their choices. What remains is not the strangely nice (though awful) ties received in gifting on this day. Nor a simple card of remembrance. What remains are memories of a good life. Only that of when being your father was something precious. Including a continuing vigil to keep the monsters in the closet from reaching you… that vigil remains today.
Children. Live well and remember… for the choices that you make will ever define the person you have become.